written by Patty Sherry, founder of Share Your Love Story.
What’s complicated is when you’re not on the same page with someone you meet, or you are no longer on the same page with your partner.
A healthy, happy, and strong relationship is NOT about agreeing on everything, it’s more about being with someone you have mutual connections and interests with. It’s when what is important to you IS important to them too. It’s when being happy matters…it’s a mutual sharing of what is fundamental.
Being in a relationship is not about being in sacrifice to make your partner happy. It’s not about a loss of your freedom or getting hung up over labels. When you both are on the same page, you simply ARE happy to be around each other, and the term “freedom” and “labels” is not an issue. You both recognize that it is NOT your job to make the other happy, so you don’t blame the other for your unhappiness.
I see many NEW relationships doomed, simply because the couple is not on the same page about what is fundamentally important for happiness.
When you meet THAT person who you share a mutual connection with the relationship feels like EASE. There is an openness that flows naturally; and when you are with someone long-term, being on the same page means you grow together, not apart.
But when you are on different pages, it will feel more like banging a square peg into a round hole. It will feel like distance and disconnection. We’ve all had those square peg relationships…and try as you will to make them work, they never quite fit.
You disagree about the amount of time you spend together, you disagree about the level of commitment, you disagree about children, family, religion, or work. You’re pages apart about some of these big issues. You disagree about what REALLY matters to you.
I’ve tried in the past to make a square peg relationship work, and after much blame and frustration, I simply faced that we were NOT on the same page, and more importantly, we never would be.
Sometimes people grow apart, or sometimes people are just too different to begin with and are not meant to be together. Being REAL with yourself without blame, and attending to your own happiness, can take some introspective work.
I’ll admit there was a sense of failure, and a fear of the unknown when this realization occurred. For a time there was a sense of guilt, loss, and grieving. Ultimately however, my self reflection is what helped me to become open and to allow in the things and experiences that are the most important to me.
You could say that I’ve started a new and exciting chapter to my life! Although much of it is yet unwritten, I can say that the man in my life and I are definitely on the same page, and being here is completely wonderful…
What page are you on?
With Love and Fireworks
Patty Sherry helps people to improve their relationships and deal with life issues through her workshops and private sessions. She is also the founder of the inspirational blog: Share Your Love Story. Join her on Facebook.