The love of her parents

Posted on November 9, 2009
Filed Under Guest Columnist | 1 Comment

By Sri Purna Widari
michelle-obama-43434343I remember Michelle Obama once said in her speech about the love of her parents which enables her to take a risk. A lot of times, I feel sad that I am raised in such parents who were not taught to express love and even worse they do not allow me to dream high. I am envious to those children who have sufficient love from their parents because they most of the times do not have the feeling of insecurities and the need to be rebellious. In this story, I would love to discuss the phenomenon of successful people who was not raised in a normal way or in other words they had such a difficult childhood yet they succeed to achieve such positions where probably they did not expect to happen.
Angelina Jolie is a product of a tough childhood. She was raised by a father who left her mother for another woman. She became a young girl who were confuse about whom she was and even loved to hurt herself. Jolie experienced drugs and alcohol addictions, adultery committed by being a lesbian, and isolated by her friends in her school due to her super skinny features. Moreover, she also reveals that she had knifes collection where she wanted to feel the pain by cutting herself. She has been estranged from her father from a very long time due to her father’s statement that she is mentally ill and her disappointment to him when he announce her first adopted kids to the media.
We now see Jolie as very different woman. Having a tough childhood which had created controversy, Jolie keeps herself outspoken and honest. She is not afraid to share her horrible past life to the public and even admitted once that doing a confession was such a therapy for her. Her rebellious attitudes were not without a reason. As a daughter of a very famous actor, John Voight, she did not feel like she enjoyed the high profile that her father has established. She was closer to her mother who lived in a normal way just like the other people yet she was searching for who exactly she was.angelina-jolie-vanity-fair-july-2008
Angelina Jolie is now busy doing her charity works. Day by day, with such maturity and wisdom, she has become more and more exquisite and exceptionally elegant. She has played several movies which resulted in Oscar and when she had her role in Lara Croft, one of her box office movie, she visited the refugee camps in Cambodia and touched by that situation. She found out that life out there was more real than what her life that she was living.
Angelina Jolie then decided to contact UNHCR, an organization under United Nation who has responsibilities in refugees. She decided to cover all the costs of her visits and wanted to see other countries that had the same situation. Jolie was named a UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador on August 27, 2001 at UNHCR headquarters in Geneva. She has donated large amount of money for those refugees and along with her partner Brad Pitt, she is now the most respected couple who have used their popularity for goods.
We also have Charlize Theron who had such an abusive father who tried to kill her mother yet was stopped by her when she finally shot him. In an interview, Charlie revealed that this experience is one of her reasons not to believe in marriage apart from her other reason to support gay marriage. Charlize’s experience with abusive father was slightly the same with Coco Channel’s experience. Her father was not abusive but he left her and her sister for another woman right after her mother passed away.charlize_theron-13246239
Similarities that I have seen from women who have bad experiences with their fathers are they tend to have masculine sides. They want to prove that they are able to do things that men can do. It is hard for them to trust men and they have high expectation in men in which they want to have unconditional love that their fathers are unable to give. However, these three women have proven us that their dark childhood did not stop them from being determined to achieve success. They do not depend on the love of their parents to achieve their dreams. They also posses more sensitivity to unfairness due to their ability to feel their pain and they want to inspire other women to be more independent and live with freedom. Like what Audrey Hepburn said once, “I was born with an enormous need for affection and terrible need to give it.” It happens to these three great women who have decided to give their affections to the others who need it to heal their pain and create a better life for other people who even have worse.
All in all we can conclude that being broken home without sufficient love from our parents or the society should not stop us from being a good person. We have to forgive our past and accept them as it is in order to create a better life. Our dark experiences should be the main motivation to make a better world and moreover it will lead us to the situation where we have to be independent. We cannot depend on somebody else to make us feel good and we will able to learn those experiences to be a better parent for our children.



Comments

One Response to “The love of her parents”

  1. Carele Belanger on September 23rd, 2009 7:03 am

    The love of the parents for teir kids is so important. And love is not material. I once read this: How do kids spell the word LOVE ?
    T.I.M.E !!! Kids need to be listen and receive time. But one things i beleive is: Stop sacrificing for your kids becaus eif you only do that, the only thing they’ll learn will be sacrifice for everything in their lives. If you achieve your dreams, they will copy you and achieve their dreams too ! For me, this is love

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